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I am really overwhelmed today. I have been struggling a very long with this one thing. What am I writing about? Well just three simple words – My Heavenly Father. It has been more than hard for me to personalise the Lord as my Father, because come to think of it, I never really knew what a father was. Yeah, maybe I did for a short while as a kid, but then he went away. With him he took away the perception of security that a father is supposed to bring into their child’s life. But another Father entered my life – the Heavenly Father – who sent His own son Jesus to die for me so that I may be His daughter. He loved me so much that He gave His all. He would suffer for me and never ask me to repay. I am starting to understand this now.

In my prayer time alone, these days more than ever, I sense Him reaching out to me as a Father. It just breaks me at the thought, because I made the mistake of equating my earthly father with the Heavenly Father. I was being so insecure until I realised He was different, He was perfect, and He loved me more than anyone ever could. He really takes care. Times when there was almost no food to lay before my family, the enemy mocked me and said let’s see how you get through this without begging or selling yourself. That’s when the Lord honoured my faith in Him and my choice to do what was right in His sight. He came in as my Saviour and Provider. He protected me from harm even when I did not know that I was in danger. I write this to bring glory to Him alone. I am not ashamed anymore of my circumstance, because I know the Lord will use it to turn it into something that will give Him glory. I never once had to beg or come under the mercy of anyone. The Lord has been my helper, my very present help in time of need.

I have been holding a lot of anger and bitterness in my heart against those who have willingly hurt me and still continue to harm me. I most definitely hate all forms of hypocrisy especially when it is me being the hypocrite. That’s when He came into my life as a Father counselling His daughter. He said, “You make mistakes that is where I come in. It is hard for you to love and be strong when your trying to do it on your own. Cast your burdens unto me. Let me take care of it. Then you will be released.” I am still struggling with loving the haters, but the best part is the Lord is helping me love. ‘It is not by might, not by power, but by My Spirit says the Lord’. I cannot love on my own strength. I have to ask Him to fill me with His Spirit. For the gifts of the Spirit are LOVE, joy, peace and a sound mind. I thought it impossible for me to do it and that’s when I heard Him whisper, “What is impossible with man is possible withe God.”

Each day, I am learning more about this wonderful Father in Heaven, who would never leave nor forsake those who reach out to Him (unlike earthly fathers who can pack their bags at anytime and leave if not inspired of God). When I am wrong, this Heavenly Father would not discard me, but correct me in love. A Father, who will see that I lack no good thing. A Father of truth, who would never say a lie about me to cover his own folly. A Father who has no folly to cover up. A Father, who would never turn away from me when I am in pain or sick. A Father, who would not turn away when I cry inconsolably. A Father who has no inadequacy and would not turn away when I am reaching out cos He is always able to help me. He would never ask me to wait or ask me to seek help elsewhere. He would never ask me to solve my own problems. God doesn’t help those who help themselves. God helps those who reach out to Him as a child reaches out to their father. He is a Father, who promised that one day he would turn the heart of the earthly fathers back to their children (Malachi 4:6). I thank Him for this promise.

I declare before God, the enemies of god, all you readers and whosoever comes across this that no matter what, I have a Father in Heaven watching out for me. So those that want to come against me beware, because those who curse me will be cursed. Those who lie and wait to trap me, you will be ensnared in your own trap. I declare that I do not fight these battles, cos the battle belongs to the Lord, those who stand against Him always fail. He is a Father to the Fatherless. The Lord is my Shepherd I shall not want. He is my Healer, my Saviour, my Refuge, my Hiding Place, my Provider, my Deliverer, my Mentor, my Counselor, my Guide, my Protector, my Rock of ages, my very present help in times of need and moreeeeeeeeeee.

Just to glorify Him I will tell you in all honesty, there were some people trying to a lay a trap to hurt me and my family, well they did not succeed and they ended up asking those close to us, who is behind them? And they warned others saying that my family and I are dangerous people, because when they tried to harm us someone thwarted their plan. In their own words ‘ they have someone big looking out for them’. lol, if only they knew who they were up against, not me, not my family, but God Himself!

He is the Father who will walk me down the aisle and not hand me over, but connect me to the man He chooses for me. He will be with me forever more. He will not give me up ever! Unlike some fathers who give up responsibility once their daughter is married. He will always be there. I love you daddy. I love you Abba.